Dramatic Sigh

Before I start, let me warn you that this is pretty fuckin offensive. Don’t read it if you’re gonna be a little bitch about it.
This morning I was talking to my friend Kevin, and as usual, the conversation turned to the disgusting. I’m relatively sure we have a running contest neither of us knows about [...]

That was my gchat status message all day yesterday. I couldn’t button my pants. Ok, so I could but not without extreme discomfort. Pants I just bought a month ago. I’m sure they just shrunk, because they’re kind of too short but in my head? They’re too tight because I’ve gained weight, and my fat [...]

I have no words.
Well, ok, I have words. Many of them, actually. I was planning to do my Friday shopping blog, but when my coworker forwarded this email to me…yeah shopping can wait.
My employer has 2 buildings. I moved from one to the other last January, and since then, I’ve been hearing all sorts of [...]

Dear ______,
I miss you whenever I’m not with you. Without even realizing it, you haunt my daydreams. You’re soft where I need you to be but firm where I really need it. I feel safe and warm when I’m with you and the time we spend together is never enough. I just want to be [...]

I wasn’t planning to blog today, because I reallyreallyreally need to get my resumé together so I can attempt to move in the next couple of months (OH HAI DC! Let’s be friends!) 
But sometimes, something comes along that’s just too perfect not to write about. Fortunately I have a friend who is single and actually [...]