TMI Thursday: This is Why You Should Always Be Prepared
Yesss I love TMI Thursday, and now that I’m at my new home (like how I didn’t really tell anyone that? I’m helpful. Sorry.) I feel like I need to christen it properly. What better way than by being gross all over the place? Don’t suggest better ways please. I like this one best.
As many of you know, Mandyand I went to DC for New Years. While at the Dallas airport, I went to the bathroom and on my way out, grabbed a wad of tissue because I had a runny nose and no one wants to be stuck with a face full of mucus when the fasten seatbelt sign is on. That would blow. Hahahahahaha see what I did there? Blow? Like blow your nose but also be a shitty situation? It’s a double entendre! Get it…?
As it turned out, my nose decided to get with the program once we reached altitude and I didn’t need the tp after all. This was a good thing since I was sitting behind a little bastard kid who wouldn’t stop bouncing in her seat while I was trying to sleep on my tray table, and that coupled with a runny nose would have been TOO MUCH. Murder almost ensued as it was. (It’s not illegal, it’s frowned on.)
Anyway, my nose, my tp, and I got to DC without further incident. Move forward a day. Because we’re smartypantses*, we decided to go to the Holocaust Museum on New Years Day with Griffin. I cried, like I fully expected to. I also called my mom to cry at her a little bit because I’m still a baby. When we left, we decided food and a beer was in order because that shit is intense. I’m not entirely sure we realized how far the museum was from Chinatown but as we were walking toward Hooters because we’re classy, I realized that I was bleeding through my tampon.
Of course, being me, I informed Mandy surreptitiously**. Then Griffin wanted to know what was up so…I told him. I’m discreet. We tried to find a bathroom, but our options were limited. I was doing the walk. You know, the walk where you’re like, “Oh fucking shit maybe if I go a little bowlegged and thrust my pelvis forward just a touch then I can prevent myself from bleeding all over is it working guys? Someone check my ass.” That walk. Mandy checked my ass. No bathroom, still miles from Hooters, oh shit ohshitohshit.
Then I remembered. Yes I DID still have that tp in my purse. However, with no bathroom around, what was I to do?
If you guessed fold it up and shove it in my crotch while walking down the street, you’d be right.
Griffin walked in front, Mandy was in back, and after a quick double check for incoming tourists, I smushed that toilet paper right down my pants.
Class. Fucking. Act. And crisis averted. The Boy Scouts got nothin’ on me.
*Using the word smartypantses just totally refutes that claim, doesn’t it?
**I totally just got my smartypants card back. SUCK IT.
Posted: January 14th, 2010 under TMI Thursday.
Tags: Does the Smithsonian have security cameras?, Klassy with a K
Comments
Comment from Mary
Time January 14, 2010 at 8:43 am
HILARIOUS. I’m pretty sure I would have done the same thing.
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Comment from Griffin
Time January 14, 2010 at 8:43 am
That was a highlight of the evening (well one of the highlights I mean). I guess it’s ok to tell this story to others now right???
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Comment from Griffin
Time January 14, 2010 at 8:45 am
What about that lady in the bathroom at Hooters who was dying of death, and letting everyone smell it???
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Comment from Pecosa
Time January 14, 2010 at 8:50 am
Ahahahaha! Oh my gawd! I’m glad you averted the crisis though…I probably would have just hidden behind my gynormous purse and done the same thing…
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Comment from admin
Time January 14, 2010 at 9:00 am
@Mandy – That’s good since we were like, 6 blocks from his house.
@Mary – Thank god I’m not the only one. I figured blood on my pants would be bad enough that it was worth the risk. I mean, we had to take the Metro back so there wasn’t even the option of hiding in the car.
@Griffin – OH god I almost wrote about her but I thought it was too much. That was terrible.
@Pecosa – I SHOULD have hidden behind my huge purse. Why didn’t I? Damnit!
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Comment from KeepingYouAwake
Time January 14, 2010 at 9:10 am
I love learning new things about friends. Sometimes you find that someone prefers daisies over roses. Sometimes that they’re an excellent pianist (hehehe) and other times when their period is.
Thanks for sharing, and now I feel like we’re closer. In fact, I’m gonna scoot away just a bit to be safe.
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Pingback from TMI Thursday: The “Post Secret” Edition, Vol. VIII | Livit, Luvit
Time January 14, 2010 at 9:21 am
[...] A Girl’s TMI Thursday: This is Why You Should Always Be Prepared [...]
Comment from Jeney
Time January 14, 2010 at 10:44 am
“Oh fucking shit maybe if I go a little bowlegged and thrust my pelvis forward just a touch then I can prevent myself from bleeding all over is it working guys? Someone check my ass.”
That seriously made me snort because IT’S SO TRUE!
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Comment from Maxie
Time January 14, 2010 at 12:09 pm
already heard this, but it doesn’t get old. hahaha
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Comment from Jay
Time January 14, 2010 at 12:26 pm
Thank God you got that in before the seagulls started following you.
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Comment from admin
Time January 14, 2010 at 2:14 pm
@KYA – Mark your calendar immediately so you know when to be afraid.
@mslollygagger – It’s funnier to me now, I think…
@Jeney – I think we’ve all done the walk before. Hopefully. It’s not just me right?
@Maxie – You and Lilu got it hot off the presses. And a little drunkenly. 
@Jay – Seagulls? Are they attracted to blood? Should I start worrying?
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Comment from Paula
Time January 14, 2010 at 2:37 pm
I saw this coming and was like “Oh, I’ve done that before.” But . . . NEVER IN PUBLIC!!! Hahaha, this is awesome!
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Comment from Steam Me Up Kid
Time January 14, 2010 at 4:06 pm
I did that once with one of my socks, but I’m pretty sure nobody saw me because I was hiding behind a tree. Also, I love the girl-to-girl discreet period check. That’s one of my favorite things about girlfriends.
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Comment from admin
Time January 15, 2010 at 12:18 pm
@Paula – I would have been THRILLED to find a bathroom. But no such luck. Not even a good place to hide.
@SMUK – Girls are handy like that. Everyone knows, you just glance, then say “nope” and nothing else is needed.
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Comment from Wynn
Time January 15, 2010 at 7:33 pm
Oh the things us girls have to put up with right. Can’t say that we’re not inventive at least.
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Comment from shine
Time January 25, 2010 at 11:20 am
I love you.
And I have a good TMI story about tampons. AGAIN. I’ve had really bad luck with tampons.
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Comment from gingermandy
Time January 14, 2010 at 8:35 am
you are nothing if not a classy dame.
obama would be so proud of you.
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