So this just happened.
That would be a crappy paint drawing of my boss literally lol-ing at the fact that I ate a piece of cold pizza for lunch. OH MY GOD IT’S SO FUNNY!!!1!11
No. It’s not. It’s not anything at all. And then I said, “Can I help you?” and he was like, “You’re so crazy! Ha I love you!” and then I walked out. I didn’t actually murder him with my eyes because I don’t have that power but man do I wish I did.
“Paul Blart was the best movie ever!” ZAP.
“How have you not read War and Peace?” ZAP.
“I don’t vote. That’s stupid. You know what else is stupid? The way this country is run.” KABLOOEY.
“You know who’s awesome? My boyfriend. Have you heard about him? Because he’s super awesome and I love his khaki pants and his smile and everything about him ever! Relationships FTW!” PEW PEW PEW.
You get the picture. So to whoever is in charge of things like super powers and eye-murder, have your people call my people. We have some things to discuss, like HOW CAN I KILL PEOPLE USING ONLY MY FACE? And why did I have so so so much caffeine today?
Posted: February 17th, 2010 under Rage, Shit I don't like.
Tags: I'm sorry this is such a hot mess, murder, my art is totally for sale
Comments
Comment from KeepingYouAwake
Time February 17, 2010 at 1:07 pm
Love your shirt, is that from the GAP?
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Comment from Will Entrekin
Time February 17, 2010 at 1:18 pm
How has no one made a “Does your face hurt? Because it’s killing me!” joke yet? Seriously guys?
Oh, wait. It’s because you’re really rather cute. I forgot.
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Comment from Will Entrekin
Time February 17, 2010 at 1:19 pm
(that’s a lie, of course? How could one forget?)
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Comment from admin
Time February 17, 2010 at 1:37 pm
@Travis – It’s the details that make it art.
@KYA – Close. Old Navy.
@shine – It IS all because now I’m dead. You win.
@Will – LOLOLOLOL UR SO FUNNY! Actually I’m surprised no one did…
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Comment from Pecosa
Time February 17, 2010 at 1:47 pm
Ha…you totally kick ass at paint!
And I agree with Travis, that knee slap makes all the diff.
On a side note, now I’m craving cold pizza. Hmph.
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Comment from cavy
Time February 17, 2010 at 2:08 pm
Never seen you with your hair down – love it!
I too would murder anyone who enjoyed Paul Blart. That was torture.
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Comment from admin
Time February 17, 2010 at 2:56 pm
@Pecosa – Yeah, I have pretty mad skillz. Talk about anatomically correct.
@cavy – I know, my little awkward pigtails-but-not-really are preeeetty sexy. I didn’t even see Paul Blart. The preview was more than enough mall cop for me.
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Comment from Libby
Time February 17, 2010 at 3:36 pm
Ten bucks she hasn’t actually read War and Peace.
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Comment from rs27
Time February 17, 2010 at 3:43 pm
Boyfriends are overrated. You’ll find out soon enough.
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Comment from Bama Riley
Time February 17, 2010 at 3:50 pm
I attempted patricide daily during my teen years, with only my eyes.
Cold pizza is not funny. Neither are talking vegetables.
I bet your boss knows the tunes to the Veggie tales songs.
And with that, I am sorry too for this comment. Lame, party of one.
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Comment from admin
Time February 18, 2010 at 7:53 am
@Libby – No one has. I wouldn’t even try.
@rs27 – Did yours break up with you?
@Bama – Yeah. WOAH COLD PIZZA?!?! Unheard of! I bet he doesn’t know Veggie Tales because his kids are in high school, but I bet he knows a lot of other stupid shit that I don’t care about.
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Comment from Fiona
Time February 18, 2010 at 8:47 am
How long did it take you to do that in paint? It’s very detailed……
But but…. cold pizza is THE shit. Stupid boss.
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Comment from Ells
Time February 19, 2010 at 3:37 pm
I thought about this post this morning when eating cold pizza for breakfast.
Which, I feel I should point out, wad totally a balanced meal because I followed it with half a grapefruit.
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Comment from Wandering Through Wonderland
Time February 19, 2010 at 4:18 pm
You’ll figure it out… I mean, you’re managing to balance your head on your neck. You have more talents than your realize.
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Comment from admin
Time February 20, 2010 at 12:31 pm
@Fiona – About 5 minutes, which is 4 1/2 longer than it should have.
@Ells – Fact. That IS balanced. I congratulate you on your nutrition.
@WTW – I know and my neck is apparently the size of a toothpick. I win.
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Comment from clairemontgomerymd
Time February 21, 2010 at 6:21 am
if you get hold of the super-power people, let me know. i’d like to place an order also.
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Comment from Miss Grace
Time February 23, 2010 at 8:01 pm
You figure out how to shoot hate rays out of your eyes? I want in.
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Comment from Canned Salmon
Time February 25, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Being able to shoot hot dogs from your eyes is a valuable talent. He will get hungry, eat them all, and then have a heart attack in 20 years cause science CAN’T SAVE YOU FROM EYE DOGS, STUPID BOSS.
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Comment from Fizzlemed
Time February 28, 2010 at 6:28 pm
I hope you made the paint picture while on the clock. That would make it priceless. Tell the dick to pay you more, and you’ll eat sushi and mignon for lunch at work.
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Comment from Travis
Time February 17, 2010 at 1:03 pm
I would buy that and frame it. Wanna know why?
The knee slap.
That shit sets it off.
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