I have giant breasts!
No I don’t, even though I definitely fit in a 32D all of a sudden, but I refuse to have 14 hooks on my bras so 34C it is. Is it weird that I keep checking out my own rack lately? That’s weird, right? Yesterday I was like, “If I stand up straight, I almost can’t see my feet!” Of course, my feet are a size 5 1/2, so an A cup would hide those babies, but still. Also? I had a smallish breakdown when I went bra shopping in Vegas because the Ds fit and I was like, “I thought Ds were supposed to be BIG, and I’m totally NOT so what is HAPPENING in this fitting room?!” And then my friend Zach was like, “Calm down, you crazy, crazy bitch.” Except he said the crazy bitch part silently.
Oh, right, hi. Yes, I peace out for like, a million years and then come back manically blogging about my boobs and I don’t know why. I think I put too much sugar in my coffee or too much coffee in my coffee or maybe I’m just so tired that I’ve come full circle to being SUPER FUCKING AWAKE OH MY GOD. I can’t stop my fiiiiingers. Please someone kidnap my keyboard or me or Justin Bieber. Do something.
PEE BREAK!!
I feel better. Oh, right, Vegas recap. Here goes. I drank 2 drinks the entire weekend, was in bed asleep by midnight every night, and went to one bar. Also, I met some very nice people and almost died of scavenger hunt. Exciting, right? My friend Zach came to visit last weekend and we totally did the exact same thing, but with more Wii. I am basically the biggest rockstar you know.
Side note, if anyone comes to Denver, you should totally stay at The Curtis. Zach stayed there and we were both a little bit in love with it. The have a lemonade stand in the lobby on Fridays that benefits their charity of the month, and for any donation you want to make, you can get lemonade, spiked lemonade, or beer. Also, they were like, foisting cookies on us, which was awesome. They had a cartoon hanging above the toilet that said, “My boyfriend ran off with my best friend. Man, I’m going to miss her,” so that completely won me over.
In conclusion, my caffeine just ran out. So, um, bye?
Posted: June 8th, 2010 under Uncategorized.
Tags: I can't even explain what this is, I'm the coolest person you know
Comments
Comment from Miss Tricky
Time June 9, 2010 at 11:15 am
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I love you!
also, how does one die from a scavenger hunt?
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Comment from LiLu
Time June 9, 2010 at 3:04 pm
I’ve been a D for a while but still wear my C’s. Classy, I know, but mama’s is PO.
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admin Reply:
June 10th, 2010 at 7:55 am
Fair enough. As long as you aren’t busting the hell out of them (pun totally intended once I realized I made it), you’re probably fine.
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Comment from Amy
Time June 9, 2010 at 8:29 pm
I’m a 36D and I finallllly just went out and bought some D bras. Verdict? Totally worth it and it makes my girls look GREAT. and more importantly, I still have 2 hooks and not 14 
although if i have to 3 hook it, I will be pissssed.
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admin Reply:
June 10th, 2010 at 7:56 am
My biggest problem with the Ds, even more than the 18 back hooks, was that the cups are too TALL. That sounds weird, but I have a short torso, and apparently that means I have to have smaller boobs? Dunno, but I don’t want underwire in my pits. The 34Cs are actually fine.
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Comment from Malnurtured Snay
Time June 10, 2010 at 8:04 am
“Is it weird that I keep checking out my own rack lately?”
I have always thought, “Man, if I were a woman, I would do nothing but check out my rack all day.” And then I read your post and I feel vindicated.
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admin Reply:
June 10th, 2010 at 1:09 pm
Yeah, when guys think they would touch it all day, they’re confused. But I definitely look a lot.
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Comment from shine
Time June 10, 2010 at 8:32 am
I’m all kinds of handsy with my boobs.
And I basically just fucking refused to run when my team started that shit. Peace out, guys, I’m going to jump in a fountain or something.
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Comment from Miss Tricky
Time June 10, 2010 at 9:09 am
P.S. you guys are jerks with your D’s that fit into C’s. DD leaning toward DDD sucks. I’m just saying.
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Comment from Wonderful
Time June 10, 2010 at 9:50 am
I was wondering if you ever made it to Vegas and back. Sounds like I didn’t miss out on anything.
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admin Reply:
June 10th, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Other people had a much more exciting time. It turns out I”m just really boring.
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Comment from saratogajean
Time June 10, 2010 at 11:43 am
Guess who actually *is* coming to Denver in September?
This girl. I mean, it’s not Vegas or anything, but I get to travel and that is a big deal for me.
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Comment from Somerandomdude
Time June 10, 2010 at 1:39 pm
How ironic. I google “shit I don’t like” and get a blog about boobs – something I am most definitely in to.
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admin Reply:
June 11th, 2010 at 1:38 pm
It’s God. God was trying to tell you that boobs are the answer to everything. I would assume, anyway. I’m an atheist though.
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Comment from Herself
Time June 11, 2010 at 5:25 am
You are seriously hilarious. May I add your blog to my blogroll? pretty please?
I’m intrgued to know how you almost died of ’scavenger hunt’…. indulge me?x
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admin Reply:
June 11th, 2010 at 1:39 pm
Of course! I would never say no to that. 
The scavenger hunt took place in the middle of the day in 95 degree weather in Vegas. It involved running up and down the strip to different hotels, and the prize was pretty great, so we RAN. And ran and ran and ran. I’m in terrible shape. It was bad.
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Comment from Cassie
Time June 18, 2010 at 7:32 am
hehehehehehehe
calm down you crazy, crazy bitch
and shut the hell up about your damn D cup…
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Comment from Kelly L
Time July 4, 2010 at 4:25 pm
Omg, this was hilarious. Maybe ’cause it’s about as spastic as one of my posts. Yes, that’s right, I just compared you to me, and I’m really, really sorry about that. Hugs?
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Comment from Kelly L
Time July 4, 2010 at 4:25 pm
Also I didn’t mean to say that it was hilarious *because* it sounded like mine. I meant that it was hilarious, AND, separately, you sound like me. It was hilarious all on its own. OMG I AM SO AWKWARD.
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Comment from Bevis
Time August 10, 2010 at 8:14 am
I just wanted to leave a comment on the post about your boobs.
Mmmm.
Okay, thanks. I’m done.
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admin Reply:
June 10th, 2010 at 7:54 am
Oh god, we were RUNNING up and down the strip in like, 95 degree heat. I’m out of shape anyway, so that almost killed me.
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