Dramatic Sigh

I’m ___________________ (noun) and I’m totally _________________ (verb) about it! It’s so _____________ (adjective) that I just can’t even believe it. When my parents find out, they’ll be so _____________ (verb) that they’ll probably _________________ (verb).
Fill it in, Mad Lib style. This is a choose-your-own-fool joke. I have less than zero energy. Pretty sure I’m [...]

If I were in the mood to be seduced, I would totally let him do it. It’s like I have this fetish. And he’s letting that fetish run free. That almost never happens. It’s my dirty little secret. Well, less of a dirty secret, and more of a completely safe-for-work secret, but it sounds less exciting [...]

I was bored, and I haven’t pooped my pants lately, so I said, “Self, is there a thing that will suggest blog topics to me?” And then I replied, “I don’t know. Here.” And then I realized I was talking to myself, so I just googled it, and there IS. Here are some of the [...]

…he would taste like these:

What those are, for all of you NOT from Colorado, are corn fritters from White Fence Farm. And if you ARE from Colorado, and have never been there? You should probably get on that like…tonight. I don’t even really eat meat, but their fried chicken is good enough for me to [...]

And by special, I mean special. And I actually wrote it. With my hand, which was weird and caused me to make several really stupid spelling/word usage mistakes. Wheeee. So here you go…all the cool kids are doing it. And me. I’m doing it too.

Fin.

Well, short anyway. I want to blog because…well, just because. I feel like it. Unfortunately, I’m distracted by the fact that I’M FUCKING MELTING. My boobs have the equivalent of the Colorado River running in between them, and I have a serious case of swunt and swass and whatever else can be swampy. You get [...]

Not the normal kind though. Here’s today’s TMI.
I. Am. Going. To. Shit. On. My. Boss’. Desk.
Seriously, I am about 12 seconds away from marching in, dropping trou, and shitting out last night’s taco bell and this afternoon’s spaghetti all over everything. I am losing it. Bad.

I’m in a mood. I’m not entirely sure what that mood is but it’s something like I’m manic but only in my head because my body is all “fuck this noise I ain’t doin shit today” and my stomach is all “poptarts? Seriously I know you’re broke but fucking poptarts?” and my hair is from [...]

It’s not here. I guest posted over at Jeney’s page. It’s I’m just sayin Wednesday, and I’m just sayin a few things about porn. We (almost) all watch it, we (almost) all like it, but I’m sure we’ve all had a few “What the fuck?” moments with it.
And don’t worry, it’s safe for work. Unless [...]

My blog award cherry, that is. Jeney, who is fabulous, thinks I’m fabulous too and gave me an award. I feel special. Not like special special. Well, that too. That’s ok. So anyway, I’m fucking AWE-SUMM. Queen Awesumm to you. Lick my boots, peasant.*

Fucking right I am.